Monday Blues: The New Norm

San Francisco – oh, how I love thee. I was just finishing up my reflection piece last week as the smell of firewood drifted into the house. I recall asking the Mr. if he smelled anything but he happened to have a stuffy nose so he was no help there. It was later confirmed at about 12:30AM that the smell was coming from the fire all the way in Napa. I was practically up all night following the situation on Twitter (my newfound emergency news source) while thinking “why is it just one thing after another?” Only shock and suffocation followed on Monday and leading it into the week, the smoke and ashes that was carried into the Bay pretty much settled during the day and continued to travel in the evening. Not unlike those with asthma, I myself also have a bit of respiratory issues that’s a result from being cursed with lasting coughs as a toddler. This week has been tough in terms of getting around the city, going to and from work, which is essentially all I was willing to leave the house for. Most of my throat irritation and coughing only occurred at work or when the doors are open at home. I’ve met a few who simply could not understand what “the big deal” was. A vendor asked me why I was wearing a mask, I in turn asked if he had no clue about the fire in our backyard – the asshole had the audacity to say “but it’s not burning here” and laughed it off. I don’t know what it is with my luck with insensitive douchebags that don’t know how to empathize. I bit back and I don’t care. I’ll leave it at that.

With all the chaos in our society nowadays, I have been more tempted than ever to leave my job in retail, where I’m constantly working with the public and am always the first one to take one for the team. I don’t want this post to go in a dark direction but people are jerks and humankind is f*cked. Moving on, I know I previously said that I put my job hunt on hold but with all that’s been going on, I really need to get back on it and get out fast. I want to do something different and something that I will enjoy. Working face to face with ignorant brats should be an option and not a requirement. I’d give anything to go full-time behind a computer screen right now.

Tuesday and Wednesday were just like any other work day – menial work at it’s best. I was scheduled to do inventory on Thursday and pulled a 7:00AM – 4:00PM shift. Friday followed with a 8:00AM – 7:30PM shift because someone wanted to call for a mandatory meeting that pretty much failed, the meeting content didn’t load and people in my role weren’t even addressed as it was a sales related call. The manager was 20 minutes late, my counterpart was over 30 minutes late – I had to bring it up to another manager that if this was mandatory then the other person better receive some sort of disciplinary action because the whole morning was bullshit. We have been so short-staffed lately, running as thin as 3 heads a day – resulting in a lot of short-fusedness in both employees and customers. The whole situation is just nasty and the store is a shit show at best. The only way to prevent myself from spiraling down with this hell hole is to leave. I was almost tempted to throw my badge in someone’s face when I was met with a middle aged lady’s “concern” of our company constantly moving people. All I got to say about that is that if I was the employee and I still want to survive and move up in this company, I will move if they tell me to move. Nobody in their right mind will willingly stay in the same place with no progression just so they can help you answer a question maybe once a year. I get it, you rather not have to explain your situation from the beginning to a fresh face, but your feedback actually wouldn’t be taken seriously in this sense because it makes no sense, at all. I really don’t care.

I was supposed to attend a wedding shower of a dear friend of mine yesterday but after all that’s happened, I really don’t want to be around crowds nor do I want to be out at night. I know this isn’t really living but this is my new normal. I will, however, still be attending the wedding and I wish the newly weds all the best.

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